Introspective poetry

I know I've not posted for way too long.  With school starting up, my life has become a hurricane of activity, which so far is not a bad thing.  I'm handling it alright; I've just not figured out how to fit blogging into my new schedule.  So I thought I'd post a poem that I wrote three or four weeks ago during a very low emotional day.  I don't feel that way now, before you get concerned, but it does capture some of the fears that I face occasionally when I have too much time on my hands.  

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Is my life really that significant?

You know that I feel like I'm in a cocoon.

Laughter all around me; inside empty.

I'm missing God.  I want a friend,

someone to share my life with.

Fingers of doubt reach up to claw my mind

and make me scramble for a sense of security.

Yeah God knows

I think that the last line is the light at the end of the tunnel in a sense.  God knows, cares, never leaves, never abandons.  He's holding on!  He never lets go!  Just sometimes "I need, I need a hand to hold, to hold me from the edge."  --Superchick

Yet You Love Me. . .

I went for a bike ride around the countryside yesterday evening.  The weather was a little cool, but it felt good to get out and use my legs.  I iced my knee before and after.  It was an evening well spent.  Then I got online to post a chapter in the XC Camp Notes series.  I'm kind-of getting tired of doing it, just because it's a lot of work, but I hope that it is helping someone out there.  I still have material for at least three or four more chapters!  I'm going to press on and finish well.  That's what running is all about: endurance.  

     At work yesterday, no one really started coming in until around 9:30, and then it was virtually nonstop until I left at 2:00!  We had one less worker than usual at the stand, and it was a busy day besides.  I found myself struggling to keep smiling and not scowl at my customers... :)  Since I work at the little stand (we have two stands in the market), I have to take credit card purchases to the machine at the big stand.  One time as I walked over, my customer was walking next to me and she noticed my purity ring.  She asked if I was married!  It's not the first time I've had that question, but it's always interesting.  I told her that it was a purity ring, which she'd heard of.  I said that I wear it because I believe in Jesus and I want to keep myself pure.  Thank You Jesus, for that opportunity!  

     We got new phones!!  A while ago I discussed the fact that many people have caller ID and we do not.  No longer!  As soon as we get the directory filled with entries, I will be able to tell who's calling before I even answer!  Moohoowaahaahaa.  Seriously though, the weird part is that the system has four handsets, but you can only use two at time.  What?  Go figure.  

     School starts soon.  I'm a senior!  I don't think I'm ready for all that's expected of me and all that I want to do.  If you look at my Google calendar at the bottom of the page, you'll see that it doesn't look all that full.  Some things have changed lately.  For example, I made the decision to stop doing the Parisi Total Conditioning workout.  The timing just wasn't fitting very well.  I feel good about that, although I like it enough that I might try to pick it up again in the spring.  

     Still, I am actually a tiny bit scared.  What if my classes are more work than I expect?  What if become exhausted like this spring?  What if I freak out and get depressed?  What if I don't have time to blog, listen to music, hang with friends, and basically have a life?  What if I stop asking these questions and collapse into God's arms?  

     It just so happens that iTunes randomizer played the song "Carry You" by Sarah Kelly, which says, "Lay down your burdens, my child, my child, I will carry you."  God is reminding me once again that he loves me.  There is no greater truth in my life.  God loves me.  "When I go down, I go down hard.  And of the things that got me there, I think if only I had fought them."  -- Relient K, "When I Go Down"  

"Yet you love me, and that consumes me. . . "

XC Camp Notes #4

Redefining the Term "Athlete"

[My original notes for this part are arranged in columns, but I will do the best I can to present it this way.  I took these notes as we watched a video by the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) as a part of their Champions of Character program.]

An athlete is not necessarily someone born with special physical skills, like speed, endurance, strength, or balance.  An athlete who is someone with a zeal for working hard to develop those skills.  An athlete demonstrates the characteristics of respect, pride, sportsmanship, integrity, and leadership.

Athlete

• RESPECT:  Has a teachable spirit; is appreciative of correction.
• PRIDE:  Experiences the shared joy of the inner circle (of the team); is disciplined and determined.
• SPORTSMANSHIP:  Discipline is focused attention and effort, involved with love.  Embrace, not just accept, discipline.  Demonstrates enthusiasm and personal responsibility.
• INTEGRITY:  Do your actions follow your words and your beliefs?  Yes means yes, no means no.
• LEADERSHIP:  Teamwork.  Consider native American tribes, and the Lakota warrior (when a Lakota warrior triumphed in battle or hunt, it was expected that he give gifts from his own belongings to his friends and relatives).  Interdependence.

Nonathlete

• RESPECT:  Excuse-maker, can't take correction as a compliment.
• PRIDE:  False pride says, 'Look at me, I need some attention.'  Arrogance, sense of entitlement to special treatment.
• SPORTSMANSHIP:  Discipline means punishment and self-pity.  Connected with temper; resists discipline.
• INTEGRITY:  Says what's required, then does what he wants.  Puts competence over character.
• LEADERSHIP:  Is selfish, absorbed in his own accomplishments, attention, and efforts.  Criticizes others, but takes shortcuts himself.  Puts himself first.

Good stuff in there!  Lastly, this Scripture verse was shared by Coach Smalley as it relates to running.  Hebrews 12:1, ". . .Let us run with perseverance the race set before us. . ."  Besides the spiritual applications, this can be a theme for runners.  "Let us run"--it's good to run in packs.  "With perseverance"--mentally and physically, you have to push yourself to go the distance.  "The race"--we're serious about training because there is competition.  "Set before us"--it's not a bad idea to scout out the course ahead of time.  

     It's our decision whether we put our best foot forward (almost literally!) or we slack off.  No one can make us better athletes; only you and I have that choice.  Choose to be. . . an Athlete!

This is chapter 4 of my series, "XC Camp Notes."  Next, learn some cross country vocabulary!

Eldest & Oatmeal

The two things I'm about to tell you about are activities that I enjoy very much.  You deserve to hear a little bit about what's been happening in my life lately.  

     Some of you may have heard of the books Eragon and Eldest by Christopher Paolini.  He graduated when he was 15 after being homeschooled all his life, and began to write these fantasy novels.  They are part of a four-book series called the "Inheritance Cycle."  Since the third book is about to be released in September, I had to finish Eldest before then.  Although it has close to 700 pages, I read it in a week.  However, that was because I had absolutely nothing to do and yes--sat in the recliner--the ENTIRE day.  I'm not kidding.  Well, I guess I walked outside a couple times to talk with Dad and get some sun.  

     Anyway, I finished reading it late Sunday night because--well, let's just say it was very gripping, gripping as in my palms get sweaty, my breath gets short, and my face flushes as I race through to reach the end because I absolutely HAVE to know what happens.  Aahh, so much fun.  One time the author did something horribly sudden and after a few moments of speechlessness, I started shouting and ripping my hair out.  That's not really an exaggeration, either; ask my mom!  

     I have a lot of other books to read.  Now I am working on Orange and Green: A Tale of the Boyne and Limerick, by G.A. Henty.  It's historical fiction about Ireland, so I'll probably learn a lot because I know nothing about Ireland.  

     I also occupy some of my time with preparing oatmeal for breakfast.  I found a great food blog called "Good Eats" by a very likeminded eater, and the author, Amanda Grace, posted several things on oatmeal.  Her pictures looked amazing, and I knew I had to try one of her recipes.  Here are some photos of how it turned out.  

Okay, so I'm a bit of a dork.

The dark morsels are cherries.  

[Random Side Note: I'm so happy--these are the first photos on my blog!  I hope I find opportunities to put up more.]  

     After cooking it in vanilla soymilk, I add ground flaxseed, cinnamon, and honey.  I add the cherries about halfway through so they don't get too flabby, and if I feel like it I put some raw pecans in, too, so that they soften up nicely.  Ohh, it was delicious!  I will never be able to eat plain oatmeal again.  I tried on Saturday--it was disgusting.  :(

XC Camp Notes #3

Good Food = Faster Races (part c)

CALORIE FORMULA:

• Take your weight in pounds, divide it by 2.2, multiply that result by 30.
  
• Example: 140 pound man.  140 / 2.2 = 64.  64 x 30 = 1920 calories.
• However, this is the base amount of calories your body needs to function with no physical exertion.
• Add 100-300 calories per 15 minutes of activity.
• Where should they come from?  Remember:  a wide variety of minimally processed foods achieved by eating a balance of macronutrients (Simple Rules #7 and #3).
• [Coach speaking at camp:] We will use a 40/30/30 diet.  These are percentages of calorie intake, not bulk intake!  You don't want 30% of the food you eat to be fat!  40% calories from carbohyrdates--and a good portion of those are complex carbs that have fiber.  30% calories from fat--those are polyunsaturated and monounsaturated, right?  And 30% of calories from protein--don't miss getting those complete proteins, either!
• You will probably need to find a different balance based on your activity levels, body, etc., but this is a rough start.

3000-CALORIE PLAN:

Now, if I understand what Coach Dougherty was saying, this is supposed to be approximately a 3000-calorie meal, which I find hard to believe, but...

• Breakfast: 1 bagel with butter, fruit juice
• Snack: 1 piece fruit
• Lunch: chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato (no mayo), 1 piece fruit, fruit juice
• Dinner: fish, rice, veggies, 2 cups salad, fruit juice, 1 scoop ice cream

You can see that he's big on the fruit juice for athletes.  Coach Dougherty knows a lot about sports, and nutrition is where he obsesses.  Others may not be so particular about all these calories.  I don't worry so much myself about calories; I make sure I follow the 7 Simple Rules of Nutrition and avoid junk food (generally!).  My mom buys practically all organic food, and I wholeheartedly support it.  I would not recommend eating anything that's not organic, but if you had questions, you would have to bring it to me case-by-case.  The point is, you have to know where your food is coming from and that it is safe for your body.  Never trust the FDA.  But I digress.  :)

     This is the last part of the nutrition section of my notes.  I have upcoming chapters on cross-country vocab, stretching, athletes of character, and possibly others.  

You have been reading Chapter 3 of my series, "XC Camp Notes."  The next chapter will be, "Redefining the Term Athlete"!